Technology Making Conception Easier
I don't know how they did it before the smartphone. By 'It', I mean conceive a child. Now, at risk of sounding (fill in the blank with your choice of judgement here), my 8 year old was a whoops. A medical magical miracle. She was conceived while using the Depo-Provera injection, AND a condom. I joke that when a baby needs to be born, she needs to be born. And so my daughter, who is literally a one-in-a-million kind of child came to be. After that, there was no such thing as getting pregnant. Granted, I've recently found out that my conception issues are linked to my newly discovered plethora of auto-immune oddities, but until the smartphone and apps that track conception, it just wasn't happening. You can set a clock to my menstrual cycle. Hell or high water, I'm on a 28 day cycle. "Full moon cometh, wait a day, then stay away." That's my monthly mantra. When my husband and I married, we wanted children together. We each have one from our previous relationships (Step parenthood, a blog topic all of its own ... am I right?) but we really didn't feel like our family was complete without our own, together. As fairytale relationships go, I really believe I found my soulmate. When we married, I physically hurt, I wanted to have his children so badly. And so, when we were ready, we began trying. Trying is always the fun part. It's the failing that kills a couple. How could we fail if I was that regular? Off to the doctor I went. Ultrasounds, blood tests, very long story short, nothing was wrong with me. My progesterone was a little off, my estrogen too... but nothing that would really interfere greatly. I had heard of a menstrual cycle tracking app called "Glow" and I downloaded it. I began tracking my cycle. Month after month, I tracked and charted. Month after month, those pregnancy tests came back negative. I started to lose hope. Maybe I was getting too old? I thought of everything that could be wrong. I changed my diet, supplemented. I did the goofy yoga-esque poses afterward to try and force the little swimmers to swim the right direction. (My husband has a horrible sense of direction, I joked that maybe the sperm did too.) With the app, the more often you enter information, and the more accurately you submit it, the more accurate the creators claim the algorithm becomes. So I charted on. It got to the point where we, with an already healthy sex life, were looking for excuses to try and try and try. Looking back, I was a very happy woman! But it got to a point where our foreplay was sounding like a business transaction. "Honey, Glow says I'm most fertile today! I'll get the wine, you get in bed!" And... it worked. Our first son together, Jacob, was conceived. The app had worked. Flash through months and months of issues in my pregnancy and his very premature birth, two months of struggle to live, and then his heart breaking death. My husband was broken beyond belief. I was crumbling. We were not going to have children together. It just wasn't a thing we saw happening at that time. And it left me feeling so empty and incomplete. Shortly after that I had a dream about a little girl that came to sit next to me. In my dream, I was unpacking the things we had bought for Jacob. I'm not sure what I was doing with it, but item by item, I was removing toys and clothing from a seemingly bottomless box that was labeled "jacob's Room". This little girl stood next to me in the dream and sparing all the intimate details of what she said, she assured me that a baby was coming. She softly explained I was going to have a baby, and soon. It was all going to be ok. She also said that sometimes souls are born to bodies that just can't handle it. It isn't a failure of anything or anyone, it happens, but when a baby is meant to be born to a family, that baby will come. Jacob was with us, she said. He did not want us to be sad for him any longer. When I woke from that dream, I was crying. Hard. I wanted my son back. I knew that wasn't an option, but I knew then that I wanted the ability to have a son again. I really, really wanted what that little girl said to be true. I wanted it more than anything I have ever wanted before. I sat down with my husband and I cried and cried. I cried so hard and told him my dream in between sobs, and how I now felt. He met me with total opposition, and what felt like anger. My husband was angry with me! The doctors had warned us that the last pregnancy should stay my last- and any future pregnancies could jeopardize my life. All manner of problems manifested within my body during pregnancy. From the autoimmune issues I hadn't yet been diagnosed with making me almost immobile at times to circulatory issues, to my teeth literally crumbling and so on- I was advised to cut my tubes to protect my own life. That was originally the plan when Jacob was born, but I couldn't do it. At the time, before we even knew anything was going wrong with our son, I felt that I needed to retain control of this part of me- just in case. I wanted to choose not to have another, but not have the ability taken from me- even if it had been my own decision at the time. The option was too permanent for me. I digress, after losing our son, my husband's biggest fear and objection was the possibility he would lose me too. It was the sweetest sentiment, really... the way he explained that he struggled without our boy with us, but he was sure he could not live life without me. If anything, his feelings reaffirmed the strength of our love through struggle- but it did nothing to resolve my need to give it one last go. I pled with him that we had to try. I needed to try. Jacob died in August. This was October. It was soon and I knew it. It was a lot to ask of him, let alone myself or my body, but something pushed me to push. Finally, after saying no so many times he came to me and said he was ready. He needed time to think and to digest that he needed to give me this. The pain was still so fresh and raw for us, we had barely touched each other during that time. And here I was, again, making what felt like a business proposition that he finally accepted on a couple conditions. One, he made me promise him I wouldn't die. I'm not kidding. I had to look my husband in the eye and swear to him that I would not die having this baby. I also had to promise that if it didn't take right away, we were not going to spend another year going through the emotional rollercoaster of "Are we? I think so! I feel weird! Oh.... I'm not." He essentially said it was one and done. Besides losing our child being unbearable, he reminded me how horrible it was being disappointed month after month when we tried to conceive him. He feared I would feel a mini death every time I got a negative result. Of course I had been charting my cycle throughout, just in case this day came. Just in case I needed to know. Just in case I missed a period. And then my day came- I had my just in case. It was December. I already had the date range for conception. I knew that those 5 days were going to be the most mechanical and clinical leap of faith we would ever undertake. To boot, we both came down with a terrible cold. We almost didn't try. I wish I could tell a story of being whisked off my feet, carried to the sea, and rendered gelatinous for days after insane amounts of passionate lovemaking. Instead, I can tell a story about rolling over, blowing my nose, popping a DayQuil, and telling my soulmate that we had to get this done. We have a window, and if this is the chance he's giving me, we have to do it. come hell, high water, fever, sweat, and snot- I was going to do my very best to get pregnant in one month. I will never forget how miserable we were. How absolutely painful even moving was. How much I hated him at moments for making me literally have to yell at him to get undressed because he was THAT sick. Maybe this is a TMI blog. I just want my readers to know that if they are struggling with this, they aren't the only ones. The things that we went through then are now things we laugh about, thankfully. In spite of ourselves, our colds, and our absolute lack of passion, I knew within a week that I had conceived. The tiredness of pregnancy hit me immediately. I was wiped out, and the only thing that ever made me feel that way was pregnancy. Sure enough, the test came back positive. I remember holding that stick while standing next to my husband- he was holding my other hand, and it came back positive. He and I looked at each other. I didn't scream like I had when I found out I was pregnant with Jacob. I stared at it silently and cried just as silently. I looked up and he was crying too. We were terrified. As I sit here typing this, Payton, our second son, is in my lap drinking a bottle. He's beautiful and healthy as far as we can see, and we thank God for him every day. As silly as it seems, I actually contacted the creators of that app and thanked them. I wanted them to know that I really, truly feel I would not be holding my living son- nor would I have had Jacob for the short time we were blessed with him- if it weren't for that phone app. As my luck would have it, I have another really neat gadget in my hands to help me- or any woman conceive. As irony goes, my husband has absolutely vetoed my half plea to go for the gold and have just one more. No, unless it happens organically, accidentally, and magically- my production line is officially closed. But this gadget! Women who want to have babies know all about basal thermometers. Women really trying probably have a couple. I had one on every floor in my house. Why? I have no idea. But I did! This amazing little thing is a very high tech basal thermometer... wait for it... that integrates with an app on a smartphone. I'm going to copy and paste the manufacturer's information on what it does here so I do not misstate: EASY @HOME SMART FERTILITY TRACKER About the Product ✔ MAKE SENSE OF YOUR CYCLE: Easy@Home EBT-500 Smart Fertility Tracker is the most advanced Bluetooth enabled basal thermometer on the market that intelligently tracks and measures your monthly cycle. Whether you are trying to conceive (TTC), avoid pregnancy naturally, monitor the early stages of pregnancy, or just get to know your body better, the Smart Fertility Tracker does it all with ease. Every woman can use this to make sense of her cycle Easy At Home. ✔ SEAMLESS and SMART: NO Button, NO Screen, you can take a quick measurement in the morning effortlessly and fall back asleep quickly without manual writing or charting or checking App. The tracker will seamlessly sync the basal body thermometer to App and do Smart BBT Charting, you can track and view your cycle any time. With its low energy profile, a pre-installed button battery may last 3-6 months. ✔ INTELLIGENT: The iOS and Android based Smart Tracker APPs interpret and chart the body basal temperature (BBT) to predict the conception rate intelligently based on Fertility Awareness Method. APP’s intelligent algorithm reduces the measurement time over time with advanced machine learning technology. It takes 1 to 3 minutes to read a basal temperature reading. The more you use the tracker, the less time it may take to test. ✔ AWARD WINNING DESIGN: Gorgeous design with color options and a small and stylish shape; like a tube of lipstick. User friendly design offers gentle alarm wakeup and indication of the completion of test and up to 300 measurement memory recall. All your data is stored in the cloud, so you don’t have to worry about manually uploading or losing your information. ✔ CLINICALLY HIGH MEASUREMENT ACCURACY: Clinically Accurate with high precision at ±0.09℉/±0.05℃，you can switch the temperature unit between ℉ and ℃. The iOS based Tracker App can sync with the Health App to share the BBT and CMQ. ** Our Guarantee- We are so confident that you will love this product that we offer a 1 year Hassle Free PRODUCT REPLACEMENT Guarantee. ** I don't even know what to say about this other than- I really wish I had a cause to play with this thing. From the perspective of a woman who practically charted the planets to figure out why I wasn't conceiving- this would have been a product I jumped all over. The kicker for me is the price. I'm trying to forget how much money I spent on ovulation prediction kits and strips. And this thing is $49. That just doesn't seem like a lot to me compared to what the rest of these conception tools cost. I just felt that the fact that these apps and smart devices even exist- and that I can testify to the technology age helping me conceive not one but two children need to be addressed. I have so many friends that are struggling to have children naturally and otherwise- I felt I needed to share this for them. And if you're struggling- for you too. I can't review this product because I can't use it for its intended purpose. But I can express my excitement that it exists! Check it out HERE If anyone tries this out, I'd really like to hear a follow up on it. Please email me your comments to mommygyver@gmail.com
