Baby, Come Back...
... you can blame it all on me... Baby, come back! Ok, who's singing with me now? No? Baby come back, any kind of fool could see
There was something in everything about you
Baby come back, you can blame it all on me
I was wrong, and I just can't live without you... Now you're singing. Shut up. You're totally singing. LuLaRoe's been singing this song today too. Apparently, LuLaRoe has a "cruise qualification department" that has been reaching out to former LLR retailers that had sold enough LuLaWear to hitch them a ride on the SS LuLaRoe for one of their rah rah boat rides. Once these retailers quit though, they willingly forfeited their rankings and any interest in participating in the saltwater sailing festivities. Why reach out to former retailers, you ask? To entice them back with their free cruise, of course. Yes, yes... if you come back to LuLaLand, we can start all over again. "Hi, top selling rep, we're LuLaRoe. Nice to meet you. Nope. We aren't the company you walked away from, sent all your shit back to, and are impatiently waiting for a refund from. Nope, not us. We're just your friendly neighborhood predatory company hoping to woo you back into the van..."
Baby come back, you can blame it all on meeeee.... One former retailer said that a young woman called her at about 5:30 eastern time today and in an all but defeated tone, asked her point-blank- what it would take for her to come back to LuLaRoe, and get her on that ship. Not a damn thing could, apparently- as she states that she respectfully declined the cruise seduction and requested her almost $20,000 that is owed to her from the inventory she had returned over a month ago to the company. Another woman claims that she too declined the cruise (These women must have nerves of steel to turn down a layer-laden in-the-middle-of-the-tropics cultish potential for a three-hour tour scenario. Any lesser woman would surely submit. Gag.) and denied it also requesting that her OVER $50k be returned to her post haste, or she would be inclined to contact an attorney. Oh the puns. This ship sailed. The unsinkable Titanic. Up shit's creek. Sailing into the sunset. I can't even with myself sometimes. Not even a free cruise can coax these women back to the bedazzled booty, koolaid swilling, mean girl "you can't sit at my lunch table" drama fest that is LuLaCulture. Imagine that. So which is it? The LuLaShip is sinking, and they are calling the people they are the most financially indebted to? They realize they need super sellers to continue to sail on? Or they realized that booking a whole cruise ship comes with certain physical body presence guarantees thaaaaaaat... they still have to pay for in the event that the sales force decides to maroon them. Omg puns for days, folks. Baby come back... you can go on our cruise for freeeeee.... I smell desperation in the song. P.S. They already blame it all on you. No permission needed. ;)