I'm Offended!

I hold back my own opinions on topics such as religion and politics as a general rule. I own a blog about women- mothers, namely. Products that may interest them, companies that prey on them, topics that they care about- but I stop at talking about parenting. Have you noticed that? We all parent differently. I'm not a spanker, for example. But I'm also not one to cry child abuse if I see a child get a swat to the butt for acting a fool in public. I'm also the woman that might just get between you and your child if I see you beating them. (And I mean beating) Beat me instead, because I can fight back. Do not hurt a child. I was beaten as a child, and my emotions over the subject rage and teeter on explosion. I don't like taking a hand to an innocent child for any reason. It makes me extremely uneasy to think of it, however, I will not tell you how to parent. I don't react to it calmly because of how I was treated as a child... I got a lot of "Look at what you made me do" type of speak after getting bloodied by a parent. I tend to aggressively frown on anything more than a butt pat as a redirection of attention, and even that, in my opinion- isn't necessarily called for. Hot topics for parents, right? I just don't go there because there are so many different opinions and emotions about it- it could spark an all out internet war- and people get offended easily. Insults are thrown... it's just no fun. I want my pages to be fun and safe. So I avoid topics like this. As a writer, and writing A LOT because of my chosen career- I use words all the time. I glop bunches of them together to form sentences, sentences to paragraphs, paragraphs into pages, pages into articles. Generally speaking, if I say something that is MEANT to be offensive, I do it directly and unapologetically. My calling the LuLaRoe general counsel, Bill, a dick for example- totally on purpose, and I'm not sorry for it. My experience with him has forged this opinion, and I own it. I also don't give a half a shit if he's offended. He can suck it up and go back to sucking at the expert level that he does. But then I go through the internet and I read other people's work and I cringe sometimes. "If you're white, don't let your daughter dress like Moana for Halloween. It's racist." Oh... lort. When I went to Disney last, my little white daughter donned her Cinderella costume and paraded down the streets to nod and curtsey at the other princesses- an Asian Tianna, an African American Belle, and so on and so on. If you walk into the stores, they don't look at your skin and say- "The costumes for white princesses are over here. Follow me." They say- "Who is your FAVORITE princess?' My kid didn't notice Belle was black, why should I? When my stepson was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, one time, he responded- "I want to be Michael Jordan." Do I say to him that he can never be MJ, because he's not black? Or do I allow him to look up to a man he thinks is amazing despite the difference in his race versus our own? I elect to let him- AND ENCOURAGE HIM to celebrate people and accomplishments and choose his inspiration how he sees fit. "I'm sorry, you can't be MJ, but you CAN be Steve Kerr or Larry Bird." Is unacceptable to me. No DOUBT someone will find a way to twist my words here, and I'm going to let them. Let them be offended at the fact that my white kid loves a black athlete and I have ZERO issue with it. If my daughter or even my baby boy, who happens to LOVE Moana, decided that HE wanted to dress like Moana for Halloween, I'm going to let him if it's because he loves her. If he were to say- "I want to mock the character and her culture", no, I would not be ok with it. But if he wanted to dress like something he loved, shouldn't he be allowed to do so on Halloween? I think I'd dress myself as Maui just to support him. But yet dressing like a Disney character on Halloween is offensive. "My culture is not a Halloween costume" isn't a good argument for me here. The costume isn't "Arbitrary Polynesian Tribe Woman", it's "Moana"... and MOANA, the character, is a strong willed, independent, and brave little girl. If that's who a child thinks is amazing, then LET THEM. We simply do not unify and appreciate other cultures by assigning them to a character and saying "This example defines us all" because it doesn't. This character is a character. This Halloween, my baby boy was a Minion, in spite of being a human and not yellow (though he talks very much like one at 15 months old) and my stepson was Darth Vader. He thinks Vader is the.shit. It doesn't mean he runs around with a lightsaber killing Jedi and blowing up planets. He just dug the character in the movies. My baby literally alternates wanting to watch Minions and Moana... so we almost had a baby boy dressed as someone from Moana, and yes, that would have meant that *I* would have been inclined to be Moana FOR HIM. I'm sure someone would be offended, and I'm not sure I care. Because after trick or treating, we went to Texas Roadhouse to grab dinner. We sat next to a black family that had an adorable little 2 year old that was dressed as Iron Man. Clearly... they didn't get the memo that Iron Man is white, right? NO. They didn't care because it's Halloween and their boy loves Iron Man. Shut up and let him have fun. So our kids all talked and we, the parents chatted and were friendly- because our kids are fucking ADORABLE and we love them. End of story. Yesterday, I shared a video on the MommyGyver facebook page. It was a video of a swim coach that was paralyzed from the neck down that worked hard to regain control of one side of his body- and dove! He was able to overcome paralysis to do what he loved. I thought it was an amazing story and heartwarming and inspiring. In spite of hundreds of likes, the very first comment was someone reminding me that "the handicapped may not appreciate other handicapped being used as inspiration porn." Oh well thank God you spoke up for what might be a thing. On behalf of all handicapped. Including the handicapped man who published the damn video, right? Writers are plagued by "careful". We need to be careful of what we say and how we say it. I'm pretty conscious of it, and if I make a mistake- I own it. Mistakes happen. But when you can't share that this particular story INSPIRED YOU because someone is offended by it- well Jesus take the wheel and please drive this bus straight to hell. I just can't. Listen, I'm adept at being offensive. I can masterfully tell someone how to fuck off in 13 languages and counting. I have no issue being rude if I feel it's called for. But why is this offensive when you're MOVED by a story? When you're inspired by a character? In awe of an athlete? You make a comment about anything, and it's a trigger for someone. Being overly sensitive triggers me, are you all going to stop it now? No, probably not. I was raised in that good old time where "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me." We are teaching our youth that they are to be offended by everything and that isn't ok. Can someone tell me honestly what wrong will come to them to sit there and be offended on occasion? Their bodies won't sporadically disassemble. Their heads won't spin, eyes won't pop from their heads. You know what happens? Their egos get a light bruise, and they learn that the world (gasp) doesn't revolve around them. You can be a citizen of this planet and be mindful without being a walking flesh wound oozing all over the place. So, while I'm finding inspiration in the handicapped, my stepson looks up to a black athlete, my baby idolizes a little brown Disney princess, and the world is finding ways to be offended with it all, I'm going to leave you with this: It doesn't matter. My feelings don't matter to anyone but me. Yours- only to you. If either of us is offended, we have a right to be so- but we do not have a right to demand that the whole world bow to each and every one of our triggers in fear that someone might not like how we feel. You can feel how you want, but lay off of what others should do- especially when they aren't purposely being offensive. The day I share a video of a handicapped man diving again and say- "See? Being paralyzed is a mental thing, get over it!" is the day I'm insensitive. But that day isn't going to come. What is going to happen is- my kids will dress like whomever they want on Halloween, I will find stories of individual humans to be empowering, the world will continue to turn, and life will go on. I'm going to leave you with a bit of comedy that is more true than funny, but still very funny:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceS_jkKjIgo