MLM BFF 4Life...or Not...?
So you did it. You listened to your friend and you joined (insert your choice of DS/MLM company here) because you use the products, want that distributor discount, and your BFF begged you to because you're #amazing, #sogood, you'll make #tonsofmoney. Can you use it right now? Hell yes. You paid the $99 to get in on this "amazing ground-floor opportunity" and your kit arrives. Admittedly, you dove into the box when it arrived like a crack-addicted lab animal getting a fix. Give me ALLLLLL the makeup... NOW!!! (Amirite? I am. Shut up.) So you have painted your face in 47 different selfies, made a YouTube, posted all the fucking emoji-barf laden curiosity posts you possibly can- and you can't sell a thing. Not.a.fucking.thing. You love your lashes, your sparkly eyeshadow, and that candy-scented bath bomb- but fuuuuuck. No one cares. Whyyyyyyy? I thought I was going to make like... one meeeeelion dollars. Why is she, but not me? Did you #hustle? Did you #ownit? Did you #fakeituntillyoumakeit? Yeah, you did. And now you're burnt out, exhausted, not feeling it anymore. You need to talk. You call your friend. She got you involved here, she will understand the struggle. Surely she will because she had to be where you are at one point, right? So you meet up with her for a cup of coffee. You see your BFF and she's all glam-glossed on every inch of her face. She's living it. "You go girl," you think to yourself. She squeals and flaps her hands, so excited to see her bestie! You force a squeal back because, you know... shit chicks do. Hug, hug, cheek peck kisses. "OMG girl... how ARE you??? You look faaaaaaab!" Why does your best girlfriend sound like Jeffree Starr? What the fuck is happening? You sit down with your Mocha-choka-latta-ya-ya cradled in your palms. Looking down at the slit in the top, you mumble- "Girl, I don't think I can sell this shit. I've tried... everything." Your glowing, happy faced friend since like- the 8th grade glares at you. Her bright eyes now becoming cloudy and dark... Her face says- "Oh no you di'int!" but instead, she forces a very obviously faked concerned tone- "Ohmygooooood...noooo...whyyyyyy? What's wronnnnng honey?" She pats and squeezes your hand as you begin to explain. You pour your guts out to your friend. You feel horrible as you explain how hard you worked, how lost you are, how much you feel like you're letting her down. How much you "wanted it to work...but...it's not." And she says- "Clearly you didn't want it THAT badly. You have to WANT to make it happen. You have to hustle." In one sentence, your friend basically told you that you failed at this "opportunity" because you didn't *want it* bad enough. The Facebook ads you ran, the credit card debt you racked up buying marketing, products, advertising... the time you lost sitting at vendor shows and rubbing so.much.product.you.paid.for on everyfuckingstranger you could get to stand still for 15 seconds. What else could you possibly do? And she goes on with her cult-drivel and tells you nothing short of 246 reasons why you suck and you totally disappointed her- but think about it before you make any rash decisions. After all- "We're friends, and I'm here to help you." You awkwardly hug her then head home- feeling worse than ever now. You have decided you're done. You just can't keep going this way. You let the exchange of today roll off your back because surely your friend was just surprised at your frustration. Once she has time to think about what's best for you, she'll be supportive... right? Flash forward three months and you haven't spoken to her. In fact, she is all but never on your page anymore. The friend that used to like all the photos of your kids, comment on birthday wishes to your mom, and shared recipes with you every chance she gets... has ghosted you. Curious what she's up to these days- you go to her social media page to learn that she's deleted you. She.deleted.you. 20 years of friendship, and she deleted you because you decided not to hawk her stupid mascara anymore? The facts of your reality begin to settle in. You were friends first. Then you became a commodity to build her success. Once you were no longer a commodity- you were no longer valuable to her. You.are.furious. This feels more like a bad breakup than a misunderstanding. You feel betrayed. Hurt. Angry. You start to question everyone around you now. How disposable are you to everyone else? How many of you has this happened to? ((raising my hand)) Yeah, it happened to me too- a couple of times. The first time, and the most hurtful- was with Younique. I always liked what I like, but I'm not brand loyal. If I like something better, I use that. MLM rule #1 broken. It was during the whole fiber lash dry-up and reformulation debacle. I wasn't ride or die for Younique. There were things I liked, things I loved, and things I hated. But my sponsor #loved me! "OMG, girl you are sooooo funny... I love you!" I talked to her ALL the time. If she needed a boost in sales, I ordered for myself to help her out. I wasn't going to harass my friends to buy it, but I could always use more makeup. Then I had my first son, and he was born really sick. We were stuck in the city-living at the hospital during Younique's convention, when my "friend" was coming to town. She knew about my son. We were walking distance from her hotel. When I Facebook messaged her, hoping she'd grab a cup of coffee with me, and just distract me from my personal hell watching my little baby die in his hospital bed, she didn't answer. She could post convention pics online, but not respond to my messages. I called her. She didn't answer. In fact, she didn't answer until she got back to her home state- claiming she didn't have signal downtown. No? But you had enough Wi-fi to publish post after post of Younique propaganda. Well, fuck you too. I quit Younique shortly after- and that's when others from my team started to leave too. Our personal reasons were all the same though the circumstances were different. We were trying to be friends with *her*, because she told us she wanted to be- but it only seemed she was our friend when she needed a sales push to rank up. Funny... the rest of us became closer after Younique. And none of us talk to *her* anymore. Sorry, my signal here isn't very good... go sell your mascara somewhere else. MLMs create this psychological drive for participants that believe they will attain financial freedom by participating, and they prey on the weakness of personal values. Women who are capable of being cut throat and catty become more so. They will tell you anything to get you motivated. They'll promise you the sun, the moon, and the stars to get you enrolled- hoping that you'll want it enough to hustle under them- and they will reap the profit of it. And this is how these friendships develop and dissolve.
But if you don't work- you're worthless...so why be friends? Other companies bring on people who are chronic manipulators- carting thousands of people with them wherever they go. They will look the other way while these producers ding the cash registers and "make dreams reality". They care about you as long as you can provide a black bottom line for them- but once you stop producing, you lose all your value to them. I've seen it, I've lived it- and I'm going to start writing about those experiences. The manipulation, the lying, and the risks these people take with the lives of their participants. If she was your friend first- don't enroll under her if you want to keep her as a friend. If they are promising you something that sounds too good to be true, it is. If you still want to risk it- get it in writing or record it. One of these days, I'm going to tell you all about the leader who guaranteed me $30-50k a month to join their company. This is a dark, dark world if you buy the hype. If you're in to make pocket change, I say go for it. But don't take big risks. Sell a face wash or mascara here or there, make a few bucks, but don't buy the whole factory. And never bank on any protections because your friends are above you. There are no friends in business and they are NOT your friends for life. Amen?